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10/09/06 - Western Michigan University - Kalamazoo, MI.

Q: What happens when an unknown band from the other side of the state is forced to go toe to toe against free pizza?

A:The pizza wins everytime.

This wasn't a bad show, just a bit of a snoozer. The crowd wasn't into us, so we really weren't into the crowd. That about sums it up. At least we got some of the free pizza that drew everybody's attention away from us.

... show went good, Logan wound up on NBC Dateline in a very compromising situation. (in Stone Phillips' voice)He said he was just there looking out for her because she was left home alone. Instant Message conversations, however, tell a different story...
  • Current Music
    Hot Legs - Rod Stewart (I don't like it either!)

Not exactly the best stretch we've had....

8/11/06 - Howell Opera House - Howell, MI.
I guess this show went fine in the technical sense for us, but we were kinda out of our element and things got hectic. First of all, we didn't have H.C. with us. He had a wedding to go to, so we just sequenced his bass parts. It sounded much thinner than usual. Secondly, we showed up late, which didn't seem like a problem since all the other bands showed up late as well. Unfortunately, this sequence of events wound up pushing things back to point where Howell natives Harvey Dent got screwed in the end. Nate, the show promoter wasn't pleased at all, and we apologize to both Harvey Dent and Nate for that. On a good note, we sold a bunch of stuff.


8/12/06 - St. Clair, MI.
This show had the potential of being our greatest to date. There was a lot of hype behind us for this one. It was a benefit show for a two-year old kid named Timmy Larson. He has cancer and needed this event to help pay for the monumental medical bills for his treatment. Jesus, I hate the medical field. They are the prime example of capitalism at its absolute worst, but I digress... Anyway, to make a long story short, we didn't live up to the high expectations the people had. Technical difficulty after technical difficulty. By the time we figured out what needed to be figured out, H.C. and I were so frustrated (and terribly drunk), we couldn't perform to our capabilities. Our "set" lasted over an intolerable and embarrassing two hours from start to finish. At least the benefit cleared the $10,000 mark. Take it from H.C. and myself kids, stay away from jungle juice. It can only make your life take an enormous nose-dive.


8/20/06 - Club Bart - Ferndale, MI.
All things considered, this was a fun one. Yes, there was hardly anybody there. Yes, the stage was incredibly small. Yes, I could have been doing something more productive with my life. But that didn't stop us. We just ran with it. We were dancing like idiots and had a good time. There was actually one point in our set when there were more people outside the club on the sidewalk watching us than there were inside the club. No lie! Resident Alien put on a good performance, and we hope to see them again some time soon.


8/31/06 - The Whitney - Detroit, MI.
This was a good show. At points it felt like the only reason people watched us was because they were in line for the buffet, but that's cool with me. There was a guy dancing to us in one of the most bizarre manners I've ever seen. He actually wound up stealing our thunder, which I'm fine with. CPR will have other days. Other than that, it was pretty uneventful as most good shows are. A little mingling and politicking (as Cash is apt to say) went on after the show. Plus, I think we got a sponsorship from Freek Energy, but I'm not entirely sure.


9/08/06 - Western Michigan University - Kalamazoo, MI.
Yet again, a huge amount of potential that came up horribly disappointing. There were literally thousands of people here. However, getting the "headlining" slot wound up being a major thorn in our sides. Let me see if I can describe it properly. Imagine if you will, the place being set up like a giant letter "L". There are vendors that take up both lines that make up the giant "L" with tons people milling about like ants. At the point where the two lines meet is where the stage is. This seems like the ideal place for a band to play, and believe me, it is when things are going full swing. However, by the time we hit the stage, things were winding down to a fatal level. Now imagine that one of the lines that make up that "L" had all of its vendors up and leave. In other words, there were no more ants was walking by to check us out. There were close to 1,000 people left, but they were at least 100 yards away. The only people watching us were Cash's brother-in-law and a bum that we named Jerry. It was depressing to say the least. At least, we were paid well and given a hotel room to stay at. H.C. wound up partying at a frat house, Cash and Chubby went searching for a local Deja Vu (which was apparently harder to find than the Holy Grail), and I wound up in a bar with a splitting headache, drinking a pitcher of micro-brew. Needles to say, the drive home was a quiet one.


9/30/06 - Pepper Joe's - St. Clair, MI.
We had something to prove with this one. This was the town where we blew it. We needed to show these people that we weren't just SAYING we are a bunch of fuck-ups in a band. We had to PROVE to them that we are a bunch of fuck-ups in a band... a good band. So we did, and everybody loved it. We had people on the dance floor and cheering and singing. After a couple months of shows that were either hum-drum or sub-par, this one felt good. It has once again, for me, fanned the flames of passion I have for music. Unfortunately, I had to leave immediately after we tore down. Work and all.

... shows went good, Logan has been playing with pretend lightsabres and calling himself a Jedi Master when we all know he's just a nerd (but please be nice and humor him when you see him; conflict only makes it worse).
  • Current Music
    They Might Be Giants - Spider

Help! We're stuck in a Sergio Leone movie!!!

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly: a five show review.

THE GOOD---
7/22/06 - Pub 1281 - Mt. Clemens, MI.
This had to have been one the best shows we have ever played. No, it was THE best show we've ever played. People really came out of the wood-work for this one. There were people there I had not seen in over a decade. The place was crammed to capacity (we wound up breaking all attendance records at the Pub). Some people said that they couldn't see us due to the place being packed like can of sardines. I was spreading myself pretty thin trying to talk to everybody. Das Beanheads played an excellent set (or two), and the show went off without a hitch.

7/28/06 - Jammin' in Ypsilani Festival - Ypsilanti, MI.
This wasn't so much a show for us as it was a cameo appearance. The band Mound, whom we played with at the 2005 Hamtramck Blowout (yes, the one with the infamous "megaphone incident"), invited Cash Till and myself to sing 'Destination: Anywhere' while they played back-up. They had previously played the song at a Detroit band tribute show (why they chose to play one of our songs is beyond me, but I'm grateful anyway) so they felt they should get Cash and myself to sing it with them in Ypsi. It was a long drive for three minutes, but it was worth it. Thanks to Dave and the others of Mound for having us out. And as for the Park-Master, we'll be back to defeat you!!

THE BAD---
8/2/06 - Bullfrog Bar - Redford, MI.
OK. We were thinking, "Since we completely ruled the Bullfrog as a glorified hip-hop karaoke group the first time around, we will utterly destroy the stage as a full band the second time around." We were wrong. Out of a packed bar, I think about eight people were even paying attention to us, and out of those eight, four were applauding after the songs. For example,
"... I want to return it, but I lost my receipt. Stop!"
"(crickets chirping) ...whoo!... (more crickets chirping)
It was bad. At least Cal Cagno of 89X (you know... the new rock alternative) liked it. He has now got us to play an upcoming Whitney Garden Party. So some good has come out of it. But man, that crowd was abysmal.

8/7/06 - the Modern Exchange - Southgate, MI.
I think this show had potential, but it was well off the mark from reaching it. Simply put: there was nobody there. In a way it was cool because we could completely dick around and really treat it as a goofy practice. For God's sake, I was pretending to be Paul Stanley while Cash was pretending to be Mick Jagger. However, Steve Mazur (yeah-yeah, the guy from Our Lady Peace... whatever) was playing guitar for us again. If anyone knows how to serve up a steaming pile of humble pie, it's CPR; and Steve was eating every bit of it. We're talking about a guy who has played several Enormo-domes throughout his career stuck with a goony hip-hop group in the back of a vintage clothing store. How hilarious is that? In his defense, he just happened to be in town with nothing better to do that day. At least we got to see a band called Sun who were, for a lack of a better term, bizarre. Words simply cannot describe them. Our jaws were on the floor. 'nuff said.

THE UGLY---
8/4/06 - Majestic Theatre (Detroit News Sonic Summer Contest)- Detroit, MI.
I really don't want to get too deep into this one. It will make me angry again. We got robbed. Not nearly as bad as Search Party, who got raped as opposed to robbed, however, we took the pipe on this one. We played our balls off and had the entire crowd in our FUCKING PALMS... just not the judges. They picked Baby Bear's porridge and bed because it was just right. The fact that we're aren't a status quo kind of band must have been taken into account, because the judges went with a band that was easily digestible. Plus the thing was sponsored by the WRIF (you know... Detroit's home of rock!). There's no way the aforementioned goony hip-hop group (us) were going any further. I'll stop right here because I know I'm sounding whinier than I really want to... or whinier than I really feel for that matter. I guess there's always next year... Well that's the end of this spaghetti western, and I think Lee Van Cleef came out victorious.


...shows went good, Logan went mano y mano with the Park-Master in a no-holds-barred grudge match TO THE DEATH (it still rages on today).
  • Current Music
    Jurassic 5- Feedback

A 4-show Compilation

May 12th...Howell Opera House...Howell,MI...
The show went better than expected. There were tons of kids going crazy and getting into the music. Fun times were had. Cash Till and I wound up doing a collaboration with Harvey Dent on the song "No Sleep 'til Brooklyn" by the Beasties. It went surprisingly well considering we didn't practice together one single time. As for funny anecdotes... H.C. went to a bar down the street from the Opera House for a couple drinks by himself like any self-respecting alcoholic would do. While sipping on what I could only assume was a Miller Lite, a guy comes up to him asks him his name. H.C. in turn says, "Vinny". The guy goes back to his table and has a brief pow-wow with the rest of the people at his table. Shortly thereafter, an older gentleman from the table walks up to H.C. and lays a big ol' hug on him. As you could imagine, this came as a shock to him. As it turns out, the guy who gave H.C. a hug was expecting his son whom he had never met... whose name also happened to be Vincent. H.C. explained to him that he wasn't who they thought he was and promptly left. As T.V.'s Batman would have said, "The odds of that would make the most reckless gambler cringe." Anyway, as we were passing the bar on the way home, we saw the family outside as the father was giving a hug to the appropriate man named Vincent. How's that for a Kodak moment?

May 20th...Pub1281...Mount Clemens, MI...
This was our official CD release show. It went well. Lots of friendly faces. It seemed more like a party than a show. I even danced like Buffalo Bill from the movie "Silence of the Lambs" as a contest. Yes, I was fired up on the sauce. However, feeling no need to impress, I wore pajama pants. It was kind of a bad move on my part because my friends, including H.C., took it upon themselves to pants me ALL NIGHT! ...I no longer speak to any of them. At least from this point on, we have a CD to sell.

June 3rd...Smalls...Hamtramck, MI...
There was nothing about this show that really sticks in the memory... oh yeah, besides the whole thing with Steve Mazur of Our Lady Peace PLAYING FUCKING GUITAR FOR US!!!! It sounded great. It's a shame that he can't join us. He was saying something about big record contracts, huge shows, hot girls,tons of money...blah blah blah. Sounded like a bunch of horseshit to me. Just kidding. He's just about the coolest guy you could ever want to meet. If you want to hear the live version of "Keep Your Receipt" with Steve, go to www.purevolume.com/cobaltpartyrevolution and prepare to rock.

June 21st...5th Avenue Downtown...Detroit, MI...
This was an alright show. Unfortunately for us, God decided that the first day of summer 2006 (a Wednesday I should note) should be celebrated with enormous thunderstorms with serious potential for tornadoes. Needless to say, attendance records weren't exactly shattered at 5th Avenue that night. We got all dressed up anyway; wearing all black dress attire and makeup. We were looking very Kraftwerk. We also had my cousin, Spoiled Milk's breakdancing crew, Lunchbox Jams out with us, giving their very best despite the diminutive crowd. At least 5th Avenue gave the bands a boatload of free beer, in which H.C. and I gladly took advantage of. So here's the show journal entry... now the rest of the idiots in my band will leave me alone about it.

...shows went good, Logan was looking in the mirror, pretending to be Paul Stanley on the "Smashes, Thrashes and Hits" cover.
  • Current Music
    Godammit. We want hip-hop...music!!!

Xhedo's Cafe: Jan. 27th, 2006

Question: What do the Cobalt Party Revolution and a room full of pretentious coffee-drinking pseudo-intellectuals have in common?

Answer: Nothing.

Was this a good show? I think you can do the math. I least I got to see my cousin Mike (aka 'Spoiled Milk') break-dance.

...show went good, Logan's running caboose in a very long train.
  • Current Music
    chingon- malagania selarosa (?)

1/14/06- Traverse City, MI.- The Loading Dock

How this show avoided becoming a complete disaster escapes me. I'm still bamboozled. Okay. The night started off like any other given night we perform. The place is essentially dead. It seemed that the people of Traverse City had better things to do that evening. No biggie... we've had these kinds of shows before. 12:00 midnight rolls around, and we are ready to hit the stage when H.C. says...

"Dude, my bass isn't working!" (a needle scratches across a vinyl lp)
And in unison the rest of us calmly ask, "WHAT!!!"

He then repeated himself, sending us into a panic. This normally wouldn't alarm us. We would simply ask the bass player from another band if we could borrow his bass so we could play the set. However, there was a hitch to this seemingly infallible plan... none of the other bands had a bass player; hence, no bass guitar. So there we were, scrambling like the proverbial headless chickens, trying to figure out how to remedy the situation. We dismantled and reassembled the bass faster than an Indy 500 pit crew, but to no avail. His bass was fucked. Somehow during our collective panic attack, we happened to avoid noticing that the Loading Dock was no longer a near deserted bar. To be honest, it was jammed. And we were perfectly content with not noticing all the people in the place... that was until they all started chanting, "Cobalt! Cobalt! Cobalt!" That got our attention and subsequently intensified our anxiety. We HAD to play for these people. There was no skirting it.

Now prior to the show, H.C. and myself had a few cocktails. Okay. We had ALOT of cocktails. It was because of this fact that, instead of packing up and not going through with the show, H.C., with very uncharacteristic reserve, agreed to perform using a regular ol' six-string guitar (a Gibson SG in fact, later dubbed the "Bassuitar"). We threw caution to the wind and decided to go for it. It didn't sound pretty, but it got the job done.

For what we lacked in precision sound, Cash Till and I more than made up for in energy. We had completely lost our minds on the stage: there was no other choice. The crowd, in turn, went unanimously bonkers, and no one was the wiser about our little debacle. So we chalked this one up as a win, even though we had very little to do with it. I think we should give thanks to booze for this one. However, this was just the beginning.

We ended up hanging out with the sister of Danny, the guy who set up the show. Her name was Gina, and she was really nice. Unfortunately, she was hanging out with a bunch of morons. As soon as we got back to the motel, H.C. passes out, and Chubby launches into an uncomfortable line of questioning. For example, "Do girls like it when guys rub their [the girls'] butts in a circular motion?" Keep in mind, ladies and gentlemen, that Gina was essentially a stranger. I know that this was not Chubby's way of "flirting"; he is truly interested in these kinds of things. He was being completely analytical about it. Nonetheless, it was still kinda weird. To make a long story short, it was the ever-amiable CASH TILL that seemed to drive her away with the statement, "It must suck to be an attractive high school teacher." As he said this his voice inadvertently (and unnaturally) dropped to a "sexy" register. Yet again, there was no flirting, just a vocal malfunction. She soon left after the remark, leaving us to question whether or not Cash was at fault(She later emailed us saying she had a fun night). However, the drive home was as equally confounding as the previous night.

As we were heading down route 72, we all noticed a dark shape coming at us from the side. Sure enough, it was a deer. Smack!!! The bastard went head first into the side of our trailer (that was recently paid off, as Chubby might add!). The side was dented, and the fender was nearly taken off. The deer was on the road about an 8th of a mile away. We hoped that it was only shaken up and not dead. We named the deer Regina (Not to say we thought of Gina as a dead deer. Certainly not. I think we just still had her on our minds.)As it turns out, the deer caused irreparable damage to H.C.'s already dysfunctional bass, putting several cracks in the body. Was that the end of this pilgrimage?

NO! With his keen but tardy eyes, H.C. noticed that the needle on the gas gage was under the E mark. Cash made a valiant effort to reach the next exit, but alas, he was too late. We stalled about 3/4 of a mile away in the middle of zombie country. Okay, maybe the whole zombie thing isn't true, but H.C. and Chubby went to make the hike for gas. They got the gas, and we were heading home. I bought everybody Krispy Kreams, and I wound up eating them all. I'm such a tubby bitch. Anyway, that was one nightmare we (and I speak for everyone) would GLADLY have again.

Next time Gadget, next time.

...show went good, Logan thinks that Dreamtheater is NOT a jam-band!
  • Current Music
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12/30/05- New Dodge Lounge- Hamtramck, MI.

So we wound up closing 2005 with a good show. It was a sleepy sort of night, but it was comfy. It was a familiar setting with a familiar (and ever-rockin') band: the Abe Lincolns, as well as plenty of good friends present. A solid evening if you ask me. A couple firsts occurred at this particular show...

1.) We performed the song "Every Sweet Song" for the first time live (second time ever!).

2.) Our puppet "Amanda" helped us out with the aforementioned song (you would have to see it to believe it!)

3.) Chubby tried a new way to incorporate a "cross-still" while putting on sunglasses.

So there you have it. Hamtramck has been won by us once again... that is until the next time we wind up playing there. That town has become our official arch-nemesis, and it shakes its fists at us. "Next time, CPR" it says "Next time!"

...and we'll be waiting.

...show went good, 4 out of 5 dentists choose Logan over the other brand.
  • Current Music
    Coccaine Blues- Johnny Cash

11/11/05- Loading Dock- Traverse City, MI.

This was the kind of show that reminds me why I even decided to start playing music. Even though we had to endure a horrendous six and a half hour drive to get to Traverse City, it was well worth the suffering. As soon as we got there, I knew that we were going to be on fire. And we were. Not bad considering we only practiced once between September's Paychecks disaster and the day of the show. We were surprisingly tight. People, of which there were quite a few, were dancing and really getting into the music. We even wound up in the midst of a 25 minute freestyle "jam session" with all the evening's performers. Cash, H.C., Chubby, and myself started in on some musical chairs, in which Cash hopped on the bass and I on the drums. I couldn't be more pleased with the outcome of this gig (isn't "gig" such a rock-star word?). The last couple shows kind of wiped us out emotionally, so I am glad to say that this one basically revived us from our seemingly hopeless funk. Thank you Danny, for everything. So it is safe to say that we are back and motivated. Now I just have one question... What the hell is on Joey's head? Peace.

... show went good, Logan is working on a split 7" with Nickelback.
  • Current Music
    "Bullet"- Frank Black and the Catholics

9/3/05- Paycheck's- Hamtramck,MI

Jeezy Creezy, was this a horrible experience. We wound up waiting five hours to play one song that was completely sabotaged by the sound guy. I really don't want to get into the details about because it makes me angry to even think about that night. Plus, if I get going on this subject, I'm liable to write an entire essay on it. And you and I both don't want that. I will just say that our set was single-handedly destroyed by a vindictive weasel of a sound-man, all because we don't smoke pot and don't play rock music. I hope somebody takes him out behind the barn and beats him with a rubber hose (amongst other things). The worst part was that he was trying to justify himself by putting the blame on us... I can already feel my rage ready to blow, so I'll stop for now.

...show went good... Logan, kiss the boo-boo and make it better!
  • Current Music
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8/20/05 Flint, MI

Upon arrival to this show, all of us in CPR felt a wave of unease as we looked at the East of Averill Warehouse. It was a gutted ice freezer that could have been the site of many homicides, which is kind of cool in its own morbid fashion. This show could have gone in any direction, resulting in disaster. Thankfully, disaster came to us by means of the path of least resistance: Nobody watched us. OK, the term "nobody" is a slight over statement. There was a kid there who really, REALLY liked the artists on Psychopathic Records. He was a monster of a man (standing at 6'9") that could have easily destroyed us all if so inclined. However, he liked us and gave us "clown love", which is probably less horrible than it sounds. In a way, I really am thankful nobody watched us. Trust me... the niche of society that was our "audience" probably would have murdered us if they weren't so busy drinking themselves stupid in the parking lot. Anyway, we still played our guts out and had fun. After the show, the lead singer of Publik Parking came up to me and said she urgently needed to talk to us. She then promptly got in a car and sped off. Hmm...

...show went good, Logan was getting down with the clowns at suckgigs.com.
  • Current Music
    "she don't dush"- the industry